Her email popped up in my inbox at 2:48am.
“I can’t seem to put my trust into the one who took away someone so precious to me…”
As a preacher’s kid, Lora had attended church services nearly every Sunday for seventeen years. The time she felt closest to God was on a trip she took to New Orleans with her church.
When you see people experiencing devastation, it changes you.
It puts your perspective to the test, confronting the days you have left and what you’re going to do with them.
“I got back into town and three weeks later my mom suddenly died of a brain aneurysm…”
When YOU are the one experiencing devastation, it changes you.
It puts your worldview to the test, confronting the beliefs you have left and what you’re going to do with them.
“Those two days my mom was on life support, I stormed the heavens, asking for a miracle. When she died, I lost all faith in God…”
One year went by.
“I’m wondering if you could tell me where a good starting point would be, seeing that I’m basically starting from scratch…”
A few days after receiving her email, we met at a coffee shop.
“Why did God kill my mom?”
“What have people told you?”
“That his ways are higher than ours.” “That I just need to trust him.”
“How do these comments sit with you?”
“They’re just nice ways of saying God killed her.” “Do you believe her death was God’s will?”
“Your mom’s death was definitely NOT God’s will.”
“How can you presume to know what God’s will ISN’T?”
“How can you presume to know what God’s will IS?”
“It’s just that you’re the first person to ever say that to me.”
I opened my Bible to Ezekiel and slid it across the table.
“Read 18:32.”
“‘I don’t want anyone to die,’ declares the Almighty LORD…”
“I don’t get it. Since my mom DID die, does this mean God doesn’t always get what he wants?”
“Same thing in 2 Peter 3:9. It says God is, ‘not wanting anyone to perish.’ In fact, there are verses all over the Bible that speak of things going on in the world that God wouldn’t wish upon anyone.”
“All my life I’ve been taught that everything happens according to God’s will.” “Wouldn’t that include death?”
Three Reasons To Believe Death Isn’t God’s Will
Here are three words I scribbled on Lora’s napkin: “Beginning,” “Middle,” and “End.”
1. THE BEGINNING Proves Death Isn’t God’s Will
The purpose of life was to live in friendship with God, in which love was mutual. But in order for this kind of life to be chosen, the choice of death had to be made possible as well.
So God gave Adam and Eve free will in the form a tree God instructed them not to eat from. The consequence of rebellion was death.
They decided to eat from the tree and were banished from Paradise. Eventually, they died. And their descendants have been dying ever since.
Thus, in the beginning, death is traced back to the will of man, not the will of God.
If God didn’t want Adam and Eve to die…I have to believe he didn’t want Lora’s mom to die either.
2. THE MIDDLE Proves Death Isn’t God’s Will
By “Middle,” I mean life as we know it, after Adam and Eve rebelled, and before the second coming of Christ.
I love John 14:9, where Jesus says, “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.”
- When we see Jesus loving tax collectors and prostitutes: That’s whom God loves.
- When we see Jesus opposing the religious hypocrites: That’s whom God opposes.
- When we see Jesus battling the oppression of Satan: That’s whom God battles.
- When we see Jesus care for the poor: That’s how God cares.
- And when we see Jesus grieving over the death of Lazarus: That’s how God grieves.
Thus, if Jesus wept when Lazarus died…I have to believe God wept when Lora’s mom died.
3. THE END Proves Death Isn’t God’s Will
Revelation 21:1-7 gives us a glimpse into the future:
- New heavens.
- New earth.
- New city.
- God living among his people.
- No death.
- No crying.
- No pain.
- Everything new.
All made possible through the death and resurrection of Jesus.
Thus, if LIFE with God is what God wills from beginning to end…I have to believe that LIFE with Lora’s mom was God’s will from beginning to end.
After one year of running from God, I’m so glad Lora came to our church the first week of college.
Even more, I’m glad she kept coming.
Subscribe to the blog and receive notifications for each post via email.
Image by: Intention
Excellent. Thank you.
You’re welcome John. Thanks for reading.
so beautifully explained. I haven’t experienced this knd of loss yet, but when the day eventually comes, I will hang on to ur words. So thankful for u, brother!
In the Bible though, I don’t think death entirely means one’s soul leaving earth. When a believer dies on earth, they were then in heaven with God. But when a non-believer dies, they go to hell. So wouldn’t God think of the those who go to hell as death, but those who have eternal life in Him to have life forever? I like the point that you make that when Lazarus died, Jesus wept. Why did he wept though? He was in human form, so he understands the pain we feel when someone close to us dies… In different parts of the Bible, it says don’t get too comfortable here on earth, life is a vapor and your mindset should be on heaven. Even with our temporary blessings, don’t settle for earth. To answer your questions though, the closet person to die recently was a former Sunday school teacher. And to be honest, I didn’t grieve all that much. I remember she ALWAYS aimed for heaven on her time here on earth. I honestly can’t see a more perfect example of how to act here on earth. I was more than happy for her death, not to sound morbid, I grieve for her family members, but she is where she’s wanted to be. I just hardcore rambled…
Michelle, I agree. There’s more to death in the Bible than just the physical aspect.
Since we were born in the midst of a battle, into a cursed world, it’s hard for us to imagine the world as God intended it in the beginning, where there was no death. But it’s an important part of our story that helps connect the dots regarding the restoration God is working toward now.
Thanks for sharing about your teacher. I know what you mean about being happy when someone in God’s family dies.
you guys do know that the death meant in those verses talks about spiritual death not the physical death on earth. so this didn’t really answer that girl’s question if it god’s will for her mother to perish “on earth”.
the explanations you gave only applies to spiritual death if you look at it deeply.
Philip, you bring up a great point, and I appreciate that. As I understand it, the biblical concept of death is three-fold:
1.) Physical Death: the separation of one’s spirit from one’s body.
2.) Spiritual Death: the separation of one’s spirit from God’s spirit.
3.) “Second Death”: physical and spiritual separation in eternity.
While some of the verses I mentioned are in the immediate context of “spiritual death”, those instances are in the greater context of the story of mankind that points to the beginning when man lived in the Garden of Eden. The consequence of man’s sin put him out of reach from the Tree of Life. Thus, all three aspects of death are connected.
Anyway, when we take into consideration the “beginning, middle, and end,” as it pertains to God’s will concerning death, I believe this perspective can offer great comfort to those experiencing the loss of a loved one.
And while explanations can only help so much – as they still don’t take the pain away – they can make the difference as to whether a person runs away from God or toward God when crises strikes.
I believe my Mom and Dad were both called to be with God on judgment day instead of God killing them. Both of them were ready to die.
Having that confidence brings such peace.
Thanks Mary.
My father died when I was 16 and as an only child, with a severely bipolar mother, I had been very close with him. His death was devastating to me, although at 16 I didn’t know how to grieve and work through it. Initially it pushed me toward drugs and alcohol, but when I was 18 I turned to God in a meaningful way. I realized how my life was and how my father would have been disappointed in me, and I recalled how he had taken me to church as a child, and that drove me toward God. His death has been a defining element of who I am in many ways, even to this day. I don’t know why it happened the way it did, but God took care of me through the years in ways perhaps my own father could not have done.
Eileen, your story is very encouraging. I love the way God works in our broken world to bring about redemption.
Death certainly reminds us how fragile our lives are, and that we are not as in control of our lives as we sometimes think.
I’m grateful that God is so patient and doesn’t give up on us.
Thanks for sharing.
My mom passed away 8 months ago from breast cancer and my first reaction was, “I want my Mom back… why did YOU take her from me God?” After roughly 3 months I got involved in the Christian Campus House at Northwest Missouri State, and I have never been closer to God than I am now. It amazes me how God takes tragedies and turns them into something positive. I miss my Mom like crazy but if I was still watching her suffer I don’t think, spiritually, I would be where I am today.
Kelsay, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. My mom had breast cancer too. Those times of vulnerability have a way of opening our hearts. Death makes us appreciate life, and what matters most. You have an awesome story. God truly has worked in this tragedy to bring about good. Thanks for sharing!
Fear of death is the heavy price we pay for our systematic and willful disobedience of God’s commandments (John 14: 18-21) by procrastinating our gift of immortality in the power of Christ’s death on the cross as clearly taught by Jesus and also testified by Moses and Elijah.
(Matt. 16: 13-28; 17: 1-13; 22: 29-32; 26:64; 27: 50-56; Luke 9: 28-36)
I became a Christian aged 23 whilst pregnant with my second son as a single parent, i went on to have another son oout of wedlock after 6 yrs of celibacy!!! i managed 7 more yrs of celibacy and God told me he was preparing me for a marriage. My chrisitan friend asked if would encourage one of her friends as he was very low after coming back from Gambia with a group of chrisitans as there was not the same amount of activity here going on, so i met him and being only 4 yrs older than my eldest son i thought nothing of him being ‘the one’ until after a month of getting on so well and so looking forward to each text from one another we prayed and realised God meant us two to be together <3 We have been together 6 yrs in Aug and married 5 and have two children, Barnanbas aged 4 on the 2nd of July and Florence 10 wks old, anyhow in our marriage my husband has had to deal with my bi-polar and then my eldest son took his own life by jumping from ahigh bridge after splitting up with his girlfriend and mother of his then 1 and 3 yr old son and daughter. He took his own life on July 2nd 2010, Barnabas' 2nd birthday, we found out on the 3rd due to police blunders! Also i had to deal with his ex being the one in charge becuase my sons children were next of kin and being under 18 they couldn;t make decisions so the one responsible for them had to, and she excluded me from the funeral arrangements, and i have no rights to his grave and headstone, the anger took over the grief. I prayed for my son to come back to life, along with his two brothers and my husband and a woman we took with us who's daughter had come back to life 18 yrs ago in Africa, and we all believed God would do this, but he didn't. My Dad then took his own life 6 months later, but as we weren't close i am only really affected by my sons death, as my grandad died of a heart attack 3 months after my Dads death. I still love God but am dissapointed he didn;t raise Sion (pronounced shaun) back to life, to then save all his friends from that miracle, and i now think that God will do what he will do despite our prayers, so why bother praying – then last summer our church pastor told someone to ask me not to dance at the back of church, this was a final straw for me of asking silly things of me etc from different churches, and i have not been to church since, until yesterday, we (my husband and I and two smallest children) went to a little old fashioned one, as our 12 yr old goes to the lively one we were at before, as he gets a lift off friends there and back PRAISE GOD ) so i am kind of deflated as i really thought God would bring my son back to life, He did give me a vision of my son and of my Dad that they both entered Heaven, my son was sooo excited and couldn;t believe he made it there, and my Dad looked really happily surprised to be there too <3
Anyhow since my sons death i just wonder why God allowed it to happen, as one week after whilst in church a girl announced how she was at a bridge when she saw someone abouts to jump and she talked them out of it, and i cried asking God why couldn;t he have sent someone to talk my son out of it!!! and with my bi-polar i struggle with life, as most of the time i just don;t want to be here and wonder why God even made humans when he knew they would struggle so much and so many would have such evil done against them, like babies and children tortured and abused etc etc and starving babies etc etc i often think God is selfish to have even made us, but i think, in Heaven he will answer it well and i will think 'Oh i see!' but until then i don;t see, as too many suffer too much, especially the innocent ones too small to even sin.
Yours sincerely Julie <3