DRAWING CONCLUSIONS: AGNOSTIC
1. What is your religious background?
My earliest recollection of church is an old Church of Christ in Niles, California. I was about 7-9 years old. My father held many weekly Bible studies at his house, amongst other men, switching houses with another man named Don.
Speaking honestly, I remember the house studies as sacred, something to be quite for, especially during prayer. At times, it seemed to be very genuine. Looking back, I seen a brokenness and surrenderedness amongst the men. At an early age I could see that.
But church was boring as hell. Maybe 20-25 people. They looked Amish and old. {laugh} Very ritualistic. Very boring. Sunday school was strict.
I later fellowshipped at a hard core Calvinist church that my parents suggested I attend, since I was home-schooled and needed friends outside of Justin (who was not a Christian) and JD (who is a Christian). They later kicked me out because my father believed baptism should be taught from the pulpit. My father did not attend this particular church, but I did. They said publicly with the junior high/high school/college group, that a man name “Terry” was distorting the gospel of Christ, and called him a heretic. I was soon asked to leave. I was 14-15 years old.
We later moved to Lubbock, Texas, where my father could resume his dreams, or “calling from god”. I became extremely confused watching good men being asked to leave their jobs at this church due to their beliefs IN THE BIBLE, interpretation issues that were called “doctrinal differences”. But to the Church of Christ, these differences meant the difference of heaven and hell. At least that’s what they told me when the man who baptized me found out I was fellowshipping at a Baptist worship service near Texas Tech. The person who baptized me (we’ll say Paul), explained to me that there were only Christians inside the Church of Christ. And I was experiencing a trick at the Baptist Church, that made me feel great during worship, unlike the Church of Christ who’s “worship” service is more like a funeral service. I wasn’t sure if I should be skeptical of the Church of Christ, or afraid of Satan at this Baptist Church, who apparently REALLY aren’t Christians, who were trying to suck me into hell along with Satan and his clever tricky ways.
I was stuck. For years. What else am I wrong about? I blundered through the idea of a perfect infallible god, and a perfect holy book. But the more I went to church, the more I realized, nobody else knows how to read this holy book either… hence 38,000+ different denominations of Christendom.
2. Do you currently practice a religious faith? If not, why?
Depends on how you define religion and faith. As an agnostic (doubtful and uncommitted to all), leaning towards atheism I’d say: I don’t practice a belief system that revolves around a deity or GODHEAD of a supernatural kind along with a holy book from this GOD, nor do I put any trust in truth in a system that resembles this.
3. What comes to mind when you think about God?
Well, which god? If godhead in general, I see the godhead established from man in the bronze age, with bronze age philosophy. Plenty of gods to talk about. According to the world and out of your particular church or faith, Jehovah is just one god in a world filled with many gods. The difference between me and Christians is, out of the 3,700 supernatural beings, of which 2,870 can be considered DEITIES, I deny 2,870, and the Christian denies 2869.
So if were talking about the particular Christian god, Jehovah, I see the owner of Abject slaves. At best to me, Jehovah is a giant teddy bear with a hammer behind his back.
4. What comes to mind when you think about Satan?
Satan: In every good control system, there has to be something to protect you from. In Christianity, it’s Satan. The reason for evil. Satan is used as a tool of bribery. Complete surrendering to Jesus (making you slave) saves you from Satan and his home (hell, created by god in the first place). Also Satan allows an excuse for the many philosophical problems of evil and the written word of god. God has somebody to pass the buck off to as well.
5. What comes to mind when you think about Heaven?
Heaven is the reward for every good control system. Man cannot be led by fear (Satan) alone. There has to be a reward for the laws and regulations of the bible. A reason to the overall slavery for the slave to subject his freewill to this belief system. The Vikings called their reward system “Valhalla” and the Christians “new earth”. But not all Christians even believe in a “new earth”. Some believe we go to a city in the spirit world and such. I’m sure these two views have contributed to the ever growing number of 38,000 denominations of Christendom.
6. What comes to mind when you think about Hell?
Hell, the punishment for not surrendering to a particular god. I believe it was the Egyptians that had the first “hell” philosophy. It was a “hell mouth” going through the mouth of the beast to suffer in his stomach. Rubbish. I go to the dirt when I die. I can’t prove another dimension of something resembling something close to a spirit world, unless its drug induced with LSD or DMT. {laugh}
To me, hell is just a cruel concept. I get crime and punishment. But who really deserves an eternal damnation place for eternity when it’s preached “eye for an eye”? What about a person who lives a horrible life asking a god (the god of their culture) for help (including Christians) who doesn’t come? This person dies, and because he didn’t confess a Christ in the midst of the hypocrisy of the Christian church, he couldn’t see god? What about the person who comes across the wrong doctrine, confused amidst the 38,000 different beliefs and doctrinal differences? This man suffers a horrible physical life, to then die, where the real fun begins, hell.
I can hear the Christians arguments flowing like crazy, probably screaming that I’m committing a “Straw man” argument, but people are severely physiologically damaged from the fear of a hell, and the passionate hatred of the street preaching of hell. But the truth is, Christians have persecuted gays and lesbians, and heretics against the church, and killed men for these things, sending them to this hell. I don’t see grace and mercy. Call it straw man, but no Christian wants to admit their faith has caused mass genocide. Look up what men have done in the name of the Christian god. But of course, to Christians, these aren’t “real Christians”. Was Moses a “real” man of god when he murdered an Egyptian and hid him in the sand? Did that Egyptian go to hell because the hands of a “Jehovah believer” put him there? Was Noah a “real” man of god when he was drunk and naked?
7. What comes to mind when you think about the Bible?
I think the Bible is a book with some crazy things in it like Ezekiel 23:20, but some beautiful things like, “love thy neighbor as thyself”. I just don’t believe the Bible – nor its particular god – are responsible for these words of wisdom.
Somebody asked the dhali lama, “What is your religion?” He replied, “Love and kindness”. Who would disagree? Nobody.
That being said, i think the Bible has some nice things to say and some even worse stories.
If you want to control a group of people now, use force. If you want to control the generations to come, instill a religion. Religion will rewrite man’s conscience based on a religion’s “holy book”. No religious man thinks they commit murder when they take a life of another when its justified by their holy book, (the scary thing is these books are hard to interpret anyway). I think this explains why Osama bin laden didn’t think he murdered Americans on 9/11. His religion describes us as infidels, enemies of “god”, and we should be killed. But this isn’t murder according to this religion. And Hitler didn’t think he murdered Jews. He was doing the world a favor in his eyes. Try reading the “holy book” of the Nazis, Mein Kampf.
8. What comes to mind when you think about Jesus?
He existed. He created a stink. And he’s back already currently in Australia. His born name (mistake of his parents) is AJ Miller. {laugh}
9. What comes to mind when you think about the purpose of life?
The purpose of life. As a determinist, I’d say, you have a few options. You can choose a life goal (purpose) based on your current environment and the culture that was established before you were around.
I don’t believe that there is a deity who currently has a big special purpose for me to fulfill something for him and his particular will, laid out before I was born, who strategically planned for me to be born in wherever it may be, and then said I have freewill in the matter.
It’s like this god has given me $20, but says I can only spend that money on shoes, a hat, and a shirt. Is that $20 really mine if he “gave” it to me? Or is he just using me to fulfill what he wants bought? Doesn’t sound like freewill. I don’t buy into the idea most Christian believe, that god has a special purpose for me.
10. On a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being no confidence, and 10 being complete confidence), how would you rate the level of confidence you have that your beliefs about God & Satan, Heaven & Hell, the Bible and Jesus, and the purpose of life are accurate?
I’m agnostic – doubtful and uncommitted – towards religion and science. To put a number on it, honestly, is dumb. Just listen to the argument(s), stating I have a belief strength of 10 to your 7. That wouldn’t make my truth any more “true” than the reality I’m trying to figure out.
11. What would you say have been the biggest obstacles in your search for truth?
The church. Antoine Levey said it best (founder of the first Satanist church in America), “Leave the Christian church alone. Satan has been in it for years”.
Dishonesty from Christians on trying to hold a folding point. Christians hardly admit fault. Makes it hard to feel like anything could move forward with dishonesty and tradition weighing a person’s emotions down with pride.
Again, 38,000 different denominations. Even the Christians can’t agree, let alone convince a skeptic.
12. Hypothetically, if all your questions had answers that pointed to God as the Creator and Jesus as the Savior, what would you do about it?
I’d be a fool to deny truth. I’m completely open to any truth found.
13. Is there anything you’re afraid you would have to change or give up if you were to become a Christian?
To become a modern Judeo-Christian? Yeah, absolutely. Some churches really like its members to be filled with republicans or conservatives. I’ve watched people accuse each other of political beliefs that conflict with their own political views. I wouldn’t want to surrender my views of a political party because of a particular church’s political view.
I would assume smoking pot would be a no no. Although that’s how god made it. And he actually said to partake of all of the herbs of the field. Now, MJ is just that, a herb. I love it when people say, “Well, poison oak is from god. Would you smoke that too?” I’d say, “No, that’s a poison, not an herb. One is edible for humans, one is not.” I didn’t classify it as an herb. God did (if you believe in god). To me, making it illegal would be like telling god he made a mistake. I hear the argument, “Your body is a temple and smoking MJ is destroying the temple.” Well, so is fast food and a lot of other foods, but that argument only applies to the smoking of the herb? What about eating or drinking? Pills? Oils? I heard that arguments relating to it opens the door for Satan, etc, etc, etc, just like dancing to music at your house will land you in a SF RAVE in my opinion.
14. Hypothetically, if you were to stand before God today, how would you feel about meeting Him?
Look, I’m searching for truth. If he can’t respect that I’m searching for a truth, and it happens to be him but I couldn’t see it – through the sick state (sinful nature) I was born with against my will – commanded to be healthy by a deity that I’m struggling to find a truth in, and then cast into an eternal fire because Satan was clever…. well, send me to hell already, there’s plenty of company.
15. Hypothetically, on what basis do you believe God will or will not accept you into Heaven?
Which god? Which heaven? Get my point? It’s not if I/m wrong, it’s what if you’re (religious folk in general) wrong? What if they were wrong about Zeus and Apollo? Thor or Wosham? Kali and the other hundreds of Hindu gods, or Jesus, etc, etc, etc?
16. If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
I’ve asked him a lot of questions and I’m still waiting. Assuming he existed and I was face to face with him… I’d ask, “You didn’t see this coming, did you?” That answer would solve a lot of philosophical problems for me.
17. If you could ask 1,000 people who are not Christians one question, what would it be?
1,000 people? uuuhhh, I’d rally them up and ask them if they’d like to go to the federal reserve and demand our damn money back. {laugh} I don’t know.
18. If you could ask 1,000 Christians one question, what would it be?
“Is the bible infallible?”
19. Would you be interested in participating in an Investigative Faith Study with someone at your convenience?
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