DRAWING CONCLUSIONS: A SEEKER IN COLLEGE
1. What is your religious background?
It’s complicated. {laugh} My mom was raised Baptist. My dad was raised Methodist. They got married and I was baptized in the Methodist church. And then, [when I was] around two or three, they decided to go to a Baptist church to check it out. They wanted me to go to Catholic school because we had a really good Catholic school. Obviously, [the school] had religion class and I got really interested in it. So around second grade [my parents] went through RCIA and became Catholic. I went through first Communion, so then we were Catholic.
2. Do you currently practice a religious faith? If not, why?
I wouldn’t consider myself practicing. I would consider myself searching. Like a lot of Christians, I was sort of raised in a bubble, and I’m trying to figure out what I actually believe and what I was raised to believe. So I’m working on differentiating between the two. I think it’s going well. I’m taking a World Religions class. It’s really interesting to see how all the religions tie in. I think it’s cool to get other perspectives on it.
3. What comes to mind when you think about God?
That’s a big one. I guess, mostly, the Creator. I don’t really have a concrete image. I think of the sky and nature and that sort of thing. Someone who loves us and who is looking out for us. I don’t think that I have all the answers right now. But overall, I do think that there’s a God and I do think He’s the Creator and He loves us. I think that’s the basis for a lot of religious beliefs. That’s where I am right now.
4. What comes to mind when you think about Satan?
I’m not so sure about Satan. Growing up, it was always the evil in the world; the exact opposite of God. So you have like this little devil on your shoulder telling you to go do something and sin, like lie and steal and that sort of thing. But I feel like that’s more of a caricature, obviously.
I’m not so sure I believe in Satan as much as I do evil. I think there are some truly evil people in the world. That’s pretty scary. But I don’t believe that it’s because Satan is tempting them. I think that they’ve made poor choices and, I don’t know, decided to go against what is right. What’s right isn’t always clear, but there’s a differences between morality and doing good. And I think that some people definitely stray from that.
There’s definitely evil in the world. I’m just not sure where it’s coming from. I’m not sure I believe in Satan as an entity in itself or the opposite of God, if that makes any sense.
5. What comes to mind when you think about Heaven?
I think of my family that has passed away. Usually I think about my grandmother, because she passed away back in 2006. I like to think that she’s looking down on me.
I think of the sky and God, and just, people that are kind of…enlightened, who understand a heck of a lot more than we understand right now. People who don’t have to struggle with their faith, who genuinely understand what God wants and the meaning of everything.
I believe there is a Heaven. I have no idea what we’ll do there. But I have a feeling that everybody is pretty content with what’s going on.
I think of Heaven more when I need to be comforted, like when I think about people who have passed away. I do believe that their souls go somewhere. I don’t think that people just die. I think the human consciousness is a miracle in and of itself. I think that’s pretty cool. So I don’t think that that comes from nowhere. But I don’t think about Heaven that often, but I do believe it exists.
6. What comes to mind when you think about Hell?
Hell’s tricky. I do believe that there is a Hell, but I don’t believe that God is as condemning as a lot of people make Him out to be. I think He’s more forgiving. For example, I know a common think in Catholicism is that if a baby isn’t baptized and it dies, it goes to Hell or purgatory. I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Why would God create something and then be wrathful on it, especially something like a child or a mentally disabled person who doesn’t grasp that sort of thing.
I believe in Hell, but I think it’s reserved for the truly evil people in the world. People who exude hate and do harm to others and have no remorse for it. I can’t fathom what goes on in their heads. I think Hell is reserved for the ultimate sin. I think if you sin and you die, God is forgiving. I think He’ll look at what’s in your heart and decide where you should belong.
I think Hell is eternal. This might be from growing up Catholic, but I think maybe there is some sort of purgatory where, if you still have things you need to figure out, you can work it out and talk to God and resolve yourself spiritually. Again, I’m not sure if that comes from my background.
I have no idea what Hell will be like. The ultimate misery. The thing that comes to mind is Dante’s Inferno with people up to their necks in ice. But I don’t know. People who are perpetually unhappy, maybe reliving what they did to other people. I think part of Hell would be knowing that you’re not going to be able to join everybody else, and I think that would be bad enough in and of itself.
7. What comes to mind when you think about the Bible?
The Bible and I have an interesting relationship. When I was younger, I was really into the Old Testament. I just thought it was fascinating. I had this really cool children’s Bible and this little Noah’s ark bookmark, and I would highlight all my favorite passages and stuff.
I think it’s really interesting, like, the concept that Judaism and Christianity and Islam have the Old Testament in common. I think it’s really cool that we’re all connected like that. But I don’t take the Bible literally and I don’t see it as, necessarily, historical to the point where I think that everything that happened concretely happened, and it was written down and that’s the way it was. I think a lot of it is sort of like Jesus’ parables and it was told with a purpose. A lot of things – back before we had recordings and television and even the written language – were memorized orally, and I think a lot of that translated through stories. I think there’s a lot of truth in it but I think sometimes it’s hard to come to that truth.
At the same time, I think you can get different things out of it the more you read it. With any book, the more times you read it, the more times you get something meaningfully different out of it.
I can’t say that I’ve read it straight through. I’d like to at some point in my life. It’s on my list of books to read. But yeah, I think it’s a good guide for people morally and spiritually. I think you get out of it what you get out of it. I don’t think there’s really a concrete way to look at it and say this is what we need to do. I think it’s more abstract than that. I think it can be used for good and for bad. For example, the Westboro Baptist Church, they pick and choose what they want to see and condemn other people for it. That’s the bad side. But the good side is people who do genuinely love other people and want the best for them. So it can go either way, but that’s more the nature of the person than the book itself.
8. What comes to mind when you think about Jesus?
The Son of God. The carpenter. I think it’s really interesting that Jesus died for our sins. I’m not a hundred percent sure if, again, that was a story or if it physically actually happened. But regardless of that, because I can’t know it – I wasn’t there, I’m never gonna have a hundred percent concrete evidence about it – I think, regardless, it shows a lot about God’s love for us and who He wants us to strive to be. The fact that He would sacrifice Himself for us is pretty powerful.
I’m not sure if the resurrection was an historical event. I tend to think so. I’m not sure, like I said early, if that’s from being raised in a predominantly Christian home, or if that’s what I actually believe. That’s something I’m trying to figure out. But I do know that the resurrection story and Easter is one of my favorite holidays, and I find it particularly powerful. We always go to church on Easter and make a big deal about it. I think it’s really powerful and I think it reminds us of the love that God has for us. So I think it’s definitely important. As to whether it happened or not, I’m not sure at this point in my life.
9. What comes to mind when you think about the purpose of life?
I would really like to know.
10. On a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being no confidence, and 10 being complete confidence), how would you rate the level of confidence you have that your beliefs (regarding questions 3-9) are accurate?
I think about an eight. I don’t have a hundred percent concrete beliefs right now, but I am searching and I think that means something to God. I don’t think that if I died right now He would condemn me for not believing everything. I think He’d understand that I’m trying to figure it out as best I can. We’re humans. We’re not infallible, and we don’t know everything. I think since He created us He loves us more than that.
I’d say that I’m pretty confident and what I believe works for me. I understand that a lot of people have different beliefs. People are Islamic and Buddhists and Hindu and that sort of thing. I can respect that, because I think a lot of religion has to do with what culture you’re brought up in, and I don’t think God would ever condemn anybody for being raised Hindu and not being enlightened in Christianity. I just don’t think He works that way. I think the different religions show a lot of different approaches to trying to understand the meaning of life, and God, and where we came from. I think there’s something to be said for that.
11. What would you say have been the biggest obstacles in your search for truth?
Probably the people who do claim that they stand for God but exude hate.
The fact that there are so many different religions, I’m not sure if that gives me hope that we’re all unified in trying to figure it out, or if it just makes the entire thing more confusing. I tend to think both, but that’s the way life tends to work out. Nothing’s really black and white.
12. Hypothetically, on what basis do you believe God will or will not accept you into Heaven?
I can’t claim to know, but I think it has more to do with your heart and what’s in your soul and whether or not you tried to live your life as a good person and love people. I like to think that Heaven’s the default, and unless you really royally screw up and say, “No, I’m not gonna do what’s right; I’m gonna go my own way and make a mess of everything”, I think that you’re probably okay.
13. If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
I would just want to know why He created us. Just why?
14. If you could ask 1,000 people who are not Christians one question, what would it be?
I would ask them, “What do you believe and why?” Just because I’d be interested in hearing their answers. When I was traveling last year, I met a Muslim family who were very nice people. They would lay out a prayer cloth and do their prayers every night because we shared a hostel room. I thought it was really interesting but I never actually got around to asking them what they believed. I really wished I’d taken that opportunity to learn more about it.
15. If you could ask 1,000 Christians one question, what would it be?
I would ask them, “Do you believe what you believe out of love of God or out of fear of what might happen if you question your faith?”
16. Would you be interested in participating in an Investigative Faith Study at your convenience?
Possibly, but not right now. I’d like to figure out a few more things on my own first. But I know where to go should I have any questions.
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